#1 Avocados aren’t vegan


Today I learnt a rather interesting fact. Avocados aren’t vegan . Nor are Kiwis, Almonds. Cherries. Even Coffee!! As well as quite a few otherwise seemingly vegan foods..

Now this brought me a great deal of pleasure as there have been many many times I’ve been minding my own business only for a wild vegan to pop out of nowhere mid-bacon sandwich declaring their superiority over me for their animal & planetary welfare whilst licking some avocado & chai toast baby formula.

In turn I have a tendency to dislike Veganism (not vegans, unfortunately a few of my friends populate the dark side), not only for the general air of superiority that uncomfortably wafts from the cult like following but also because it is spectacularly hard to adhere to a ‘healthy’ and balanced vegan diet.

The Avocado, Kiwi, Almond, Cherries, Celery & Coffee revelation came after learning that almost all crop plants that require pollination and are cultivated on mass use honey bees that have been forcibly migrated to the farms from their hives under duress. As through nature alone there would be insufficient bees to successfully cultivate the sheer volume of Avocados, Almonds, Papaya, Butternut & Kiwis our vegan friends do so love.

The list of crop plants pollinated by bees is exhaustive but available here with thanks to Wikipedia. The ONLY acceptable vegan exception to this rule is if these crop plants have been grown organically using natural methods, but as Avocados aren’t grown naturally here in the U.K. I would say the chances of sourcing them are beyond slim and as such I can comfortably say, Avocados aren’t vegan!

So next time you are accosted by a vegan, just remember to flash your brightest smile & remind them to think of the poor bees that are being whored out for their avocado on toast & almond milk latte.

Have an awesome day!


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